The Benefits of Falling – A Women’s World Cup Perspective or What Megan Rapinoe and I have in common!
Many of us watched the 2019 Women’s World Cup soccer tournament over the month of June; undeniably a thrilling event on so many levels. And let me join with those who think these women should be paid as well as the men for this!
Of course, for Americans the final match was a fantastic victory for the team. Congratulations too, to the Dutch women, and to all the women who played their hearts out and entertained the whole world during the tournament.
As sweet as the US team victory was, it made me think back to a quote made a while back by team captain, and amazing spokesperson, Megan Rapinoe, talking about her struggles, and how they put the victory in perspective and made it even sweeter.
"I know this sounds weird, but getting hurt was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It really gave me a different perspective. Before, everything was going how it was supposed to be and I wasn't really appreciative of what I was doing and what it took to be there. The injury grounded me in a lot of different ways. The rehab process makes you stronger on all fronts, mentally and physically. I feel stronger and a better person for it. I would never wish it on anyone, but I don't wish I could take it back."
—Megan Rapinoe
And doesn’t this make cheering for the victory even sweeter for us, knowing something about the struggle it took her to get there. It would be easy to look at these talented women and assume that they sailed through life on the benefits of their natural talent. It is worth reminding ourselves that the road to achievement is rarely smooth, it is riddled with setbacks, and it is those setbacks, and how they handled them, that make them who they are.
While I could only wish for Megan Rapinoe’s soccer ability (I was a left winger in college myself), I do share enthusiastically with her attitude towards getting hurt. In fact, the thesis for my book, Fall Risk, is that we learn more from our falls than from our triumphs, and we should be encouraged to continue to risk falling again as we recover. It is truly the only way to fully heal because being alive is one big Fall Risk, and building a buffer zone around us to avoid all falls, is not truly living.
While I wouldn’t wish injury on anyone, I can honestly say that getting hit by a pick-up truck while riding my bike to work was one of the best things that ever happened to ME. Of course, I was lucky to survive the accident, and I’m grateful to the medical staff who first saved my life, and then helped me heal in the months it took to get back on my feet; but I’m most grateful for what I learned about myself, and about friendship, encouragement, family and leadership.
Megan Rapinoe sharing this story with us makes her a better teammate, a more effective leader, and an inspirational symbol for all of us. I’ve taught communication skills to leaders for several decades, and personal stories are an effective tool in the leadership toolbox. Many leaders I have worked with tend first to recount stories of their successes, as a way to inspire confidence and build trust. And while these stories are important, and valuable, it is worth sharing the stories of failure along the way to ultimate success. People are more likely to follow you if they know you too have tripped up along the way. They are more able to related to you as human and fallible, and, more importantly, it gives your followers permission to fail. Whatever your endeavor, whether competing on the soccer field or at your job, falling is inevitable. No one gets to the top of their game by avoiding risk altogether. So, embrace the risk it takes to learn new things, to challenge yourself, knowing you’ll definitely stumble along the way. And encourage others to do the same; your employees, your teammates, and, if you have them your children. Protecting others from all harm, actually does more harm in the long run. And there is definitely more risk in avoiding risk all together, than facing challenges head on.