Speech Language Pathology – not just mind puzzles, a way to tell your story.

I spent about two months on the Brain Injury floor (7th) of the hospital after my accident. I was being treated for what they call a mild traumatic brain injury, or TBI. I’d gotten a pretty good whack on the head but with time and treatment, I’d get back to a pretty normal life. And happily, that has happened. It’s been nearly three years at this point, and while I need to pace myself, make lists and schedule regular naps, I’m leading a pretty full life for a 64-year-old.

A few times a week, while in the rehab hospital, I’d be taken down for an SLP session. Speech Language Pathology. I met with a wonderful therapist who I’ll call Jane. She would give me reading exercises as homework. These were brain teasers that I’d do by myself and she’d quiz me on them during the next session. One exercise involved little Johnny who wanted to buy a birthday gift for his uncle that cost fourteen dollars. Johnny had an allowance, money he earned for doing chores, and weekly expenses. My task was to figure out how long it would take him to buy his uncle’s gift.

At the next session Jane asked about the assignment. Did I do it? Did I understand it? Would I tell her about it? “Of course, I understood it, I snapped. And no, I’m not going to tell you about it because frankly I don’t give a shit about little Johnny or his damned uncle! I’ve got a lot on my mind these days that feels more important. I nearly died in a bike accident, and I’m still learning how to walk and chew food!” Jane was great. She didn’t get defensive. She simply suggested, “why don’t you write about what you are thinking about, and we can discuss that.” She said, “imagine you are writing a TED Talk about recovering from a brain injury. Start with an outline and we’ll discuss it next time.”

Brilliant. My wife brought in my laptop, and after I figured out my login and password, (an ordeal I’m sure many of you can relate to but try it with a TBI!) I got to work. This episode marked the beginning of a delightful period of reflection and writing. My psychologist, with whom I also met weekly while in the hospital, reinforced the value of the activity. “For many people”, he said, “a trauma can be a positive, pivotal point in life, particularly if you use it as an opportunity to reflect. By thinking about and writing about your experience, you can gain new perspective on life and even live more fully moving forward”.

Again, I was stuck by how familiar this exercise is to much of the work I’d done with business leaders. Part of a successful leader’s toolkit is the ability to tell stories. And the best stories are personal, because they reveal something about who you are and what you stand for. “The most effective leaders are in touch with their personal stories.” says Noel M. Tichy, a professor at the University of Michigan Business School and the coauthor of The Leadership Engine (HarperBusiness, 1997). This kind of storytelling helps create a bond between leaders and their teams, and by extension between team members themselves.

Of course, stories take time to craft and to tell well. And they need to be more than just an anecdote if they are to have value beyond simply entertainment. Not everyone has the luxury of time, like I did in the months I spent recovering. And I’ll admit, I did spend some of that time in angry rumination about the unfairness of my situation. But when I took the time to think (not ruminate) and to write (not complain), I realized that while I wouldn’t want to go through my accident again, the time it gave me was a gift.

So, tell your story. Even if only for yourself. Take some time to think about pivotal points in your life and write them down. Pay attention to detail, to context, to the time in your life and what you were going through. Then if you can, tell the story to a trusted friend or colleague, and ask them to react to it. At a minimum this will help you get to know one another better. But often, you’ll hear valuable insights about the lessons in your story and what it says about you, your priorities and the things you care about.